Thoughts and Feelings by Matthew McKay

Author:Matthew McKay [Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608822102
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2015-08-01T16:00:00+00:00

Distancing

Certain defusion exercises are especially helpful for gaining distance from thoughts and taking them less seriously. When you distance yourself from thoughts, they have less power to make you sad or mad or scared. Distancing exercises have one thing in common: They embrace a painful thought while letting it shrink and diminish in importance. You’ll come to understand that paradox as you explore the following practices.

THANK YOUR MIND

As mentioned earlier, your mind offers many thoughts, even problematic thoughts, in an effort to protect you. It’s trying to predict dangerous possibilities, judge what’s good or bad for you, or figure out why things happen. So your mind is working hard to help you survive and overcome problems. However, your mind can run amok and obsessively focus on thoughts that only make you miserable.

One way to deal with these thoughts is to thank your mind for its efforts to protect you. As each negative thought shows up, simply say, “Thank you, Mind, for that thought.” You don’t have to get involved with the thought. You don’t have to understand or explore it. You can just appreciate that your mind gave you that thought in an effort to protect you. “Thank you, Mind” is a mantra that acknowledges your mind’s goodwill while distancing you from the painful thoughts it throws at you: “Thank you, Mind, for that scary thought… Thank you, Mind, for that I’m-no-good thought… Thank you, Mind, for predicting failure… Thank you, Mind, for the thought that my relationship will collapse.”

When you thank your mind, you’re also creating distance from each thought as it arises. You’re appreciating your mind’s efforts while recognizing that it may have gone astray.

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